Don't die on me Steve Jobs.

Happy 56th.
I'm not sure when I got attached to you.I admit I got an iPod late and haven't been too attached to anything but the design.
It must have started with the geek and American cousins falling all over you and then I did always have a crush on the mac vs pc ads. Remember the 'only time you attended graduation' at Stanford? You're a stunner. I trip everyday on your business modelled after the dreamy perfection of The Beatles and how you're so damn snide about imperfections.
It's in the way you played it smooth while almost dying in 2009. It is how your iGod presence in my ad got me a nomination. It's in the first upgrade to business class twenty minutes after I held my macbookpro. It's how Apple gifted you the new MBP generation today, one week after my incoming cousin and I lost patience. Thank you for not changing the design (I can live without FaceTime HD camera and whatever Thunderbolt I/O technology is).
Please don't leave, you oh stud man Steve. I'm just getting to know you.

Is it okay to have felt like this through my adolescent years?

YoureSoCosmo. NOT.

Flashing a free trip to NYC can con me into anything. It led me to get past a lame movie with an unbelievable Ugly Betty scenario (who’s copying whom?). My face flashed all over New York except in the end the application was applicable only to USA and it’s step sister, Canada.  Fuck you and your lame campaign Cosmo. To further insult me, they asked me to leave with this lovely desktop picture.

 

I've been here.

November.

Hopefully, December.

Unfortunately, this is true.

3 days into life without FB.

If there was an award for the slaviest slave of Facebook, I might just get it.  It took a lot of trembling to actually deactivate that damn account. Luckily, the constant popping up of some stupid bitches I hate and other stalkers I cannot delete - made it easier.And also knowing they and not my friends would have noticed my profile gone first.

A move towards more free time and less obsessing over things that never mattered to me before FB. I'm on official holiday from this blood sucking contraption. As a condolence I've planned the move as temporary, as even then FB lured me with 7 exciting reasons as to why I'd possibly be getting rid of the greatest social addiction ever. I chose "This is temporary, I'll be back." (Of course).

It's been 3 days and I suddenly have so much more time on my hands. Like enough time and mind to write this blog, which is also 3 days old. Hmm.

The problem is it hasn't been easy at all. I find myself suffering from an acute case of Facebook post withdrawal syndrome. To start with, the expected mental notes of wonderfully clever retorts and rebuttals for FB. My phone's FB App. button glares at me all the time. That's pretty funny though, the most popular icon is now the most dejected. (It's funny to me - maybe its part of the withdrawal)

I find myself drifting and wondering what could possibly be going on 'out there'. At such times I log in from my Mum's account just to take a breather (which the back-of-my-mind deviously created before my out). Type out half my name on her find friends list, waiting to see myself appear. I don't and I am reassured - Yes, I've really deactivated my account.


Its been a while since actual conversations and my Mom constantly snaps me back to attention. She also points out my restlessness. In fact last night I had a FB dream. One stupid bitch I hate's status update was "Must get Monu on FB." And I was right there, a real live person trapped amongst all the apps and wall posts.

You might find this silly but this is really happening to me. The internet and US psychiatrists have a name for this : Facebook Addiction Disorder (FAD). Take a look at the 5 critical signs:

• You lose sleep over Facebook.
• You spend more than an hour a day on Facebook.
• You become obsessed with old loves or exes you reconnect with on Facebook.
• You ignore work and real life in favour of Facebook.
• The thought of getting off Facebook leaves you in cold sweat. If you try going a day without Facebook and it causes you stress and anxiety, this means you need help.

So I have FAD and now I'm in Facebook rehab. Maybe the nightmares will be over in a week. Or two. I'm glad my random deactivation had led me to this - a blog. I'm thinking the moment I reactivate the account I'll be over this. Right now I've shifted my obsession to this blog, as some of my real (as in, not virtual) friends have pointed out. Maybe I have OCD and not FAD. Whatever.